


The Thing in the Water

by Lady_Ifrit



Category: Free!
Genre: Drama, M/M, Romance, Supernatural Elements
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-11-19
Updated: 2014-07-13
Packaged: 2018-01-02 02:29:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ifrit/pseuds/Lady_Ifrit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Haruka almost drowned when they were kids, Makoto, young as he was, ended up striking a deal with a water spirit to save Haruka. The contract has two clauses: he cannot speak about it and he has to make Haruka fall in love with him by his eighteenth birthday. Written for the Free! kinkmeme</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Free! Kink Meme  
> Prompt: Magical contracts - When Haruka almost drowned when they were kids, Makoto, young as he was, ended up striking a deal with anan ocean spirit/magical creature/mermaid to save Haruka. The contract has two clauses:  
> 1\. He can't talk about it. (and that's why in the anime, he states his issue about the ocean as being related to the old fisherman)  
> 2\. if Makoto can't get Haruka to fall in love with him by the time he's 17/18, he's going to claim Makoto.

Haru was drowning.

It was the only thought in Makoto’s head. There was space for nothing else. Haru was drowning. Haru was drowning and he had to save him. 

The water was dark and all encompassing, a different world where sight was blurred and sound was muted and the cold leeched the body’s ability to move. It was hard to see anything and Haru’s form was reduced to pale flashes in the tendrils of weak winter light that seeped through the waves. His own arm stretched out in front of him, reaching towards his friend’s drifting body was a pallid streak of white, getting swallowed in the darkness. Makoto had always been afraid of the darkness and all the things it hid. 

But Haru was drowning. And he had to save him. There was no space for any other thought. Not the cold seeping into his bones. Not the breath that was running out of his lungs and making his head spin with dizziness as he fought to reach Haru under the water. 

And perhaps that dizziness was the reason he didn’t notice or question the voice next to his ear, telling him he could save Haru. Not until the murky, inky blue surrounding him suddenly changed into blackness. Time stood still and Makoto’s body was standing on nothingness instead – a vast nothingness that stretched away all around him, above and below. And out of the dark nothing a figure loomed forward, still obscured in shadows, wearing them like a robe. A pale, near translucent face with large eyes and slits where a nose should have been, that wavered between ethereal beauty and terrifying monstrosity, framed by hair like waving seaweed, with a white neck and arms that were lengthier than they should have been. When the long-fingered hands reached forward to stroke his face, they were cold and clammy and Makoto wanted to scream, but the breath was caught in his throat. 

‘I can show you how to save him. Just say yes and I’ll make sure he’s safe.’

The voice sounded slippery, like an eel he had caught fishing with his father a few years ago. It wasn’t the sort of voice you could trust, certainly not a voice that felt safe. Makoto wanted desperately to run away, but when he turned his head he caught sight of Haru’s body, floating in the abyss. 

Haru! His fingers had been near, just an inch more and Haru would have been in his grasp. He could save Haru himself. This, whatever this was, must be some sort of dream or hallucination he was having because he was running out of breath. He had to stop dreaming and concentrate.

‘It’s not a dream, Ma-chan. I just had to stop the flow, so we could chat. You can’t save him by yourself.’ The creature whispered, voice lilting. ‘I’ll show you.’

And it did. Makoto had a vision of his fingers closing on empty space, Haru swept away by the river’s current, and then another of himself dragging Haru’s body to shore, but no longer breathing and dead before the ambulance arrived. 

No! What was happening? Was the creature real? Could it reach inside his head? Why was it showing him these things? He couldn’t let Haru drown. That couldn’t be what would happen. 

‘I’m trying to help you, Ma-chan. I can help you save him. See?’

It showed him pulling his friend to the shore, but this time Haru was spluttering out river-water. It showed them in an ambulance and later, awake and safe in a hospital. 

‘We just have to make a small deal, Ma-chan, and he’ll be safe. It isn’t fair if I don’t get anything in return for helping, is it? You just have to say yes.’

All he had to do was say yes. Say yes and Haru would be safe again. 

A scroll appeared in the creature’s hand, opening itself. It smiled at him with pointed teeth. Makoto had seen teeth like that once in a documentary about fish that lived really, really deep in the ocean and made their own light. 

‘Just a formality, really. It’s always good to get things in writing. And I suppose we should go through the clauses. One, you tell no one about this.’ The creatures face switched from beautiful to terrifying, with a death-like gauntness to its features and all its teeth on display. It thrust its face closer to his, to drive home the importance of this point and then retreated into a friendlier stance. Makoto nodded to show he understood, terror making his movements too quick and jerky. 

‘Good. And two – you make Haru fall in love with you. You have until you turn eighteen.’ Makoto looked at it in confusion, his movements freezing in incomprehension. But it leaned forward to stroke his face, lovingly, and whispered in his ear, ‘But if you don’t, Ma-chan, then I get you. I’ll take you away, into the ocean, to live with me forever. So, what do you say, Ma-chan – do you want to save Haruka?’

Makoto looked between the scroll and his best friend. If he said yes, Haru would be safe. And then there wasn’t a choice at all, the ‘yes’ had already clawed its way out of his throat and past his lips, without much conscious thought on his part. 

The creature darted forward to grab his hand, cutting his finger and pressing it to the bottom of the scroll, leaving a mark in his blood to seal the deal. It grinned it at him and disappeared, the nothingness rushing away into murky, inky blue again and Makoto saw the last of his air go up past his face in a bubble towards to surface. But that no longer mattered, because somehow Haru was in his arms and they were breaking the surface of the water and Rin was reaching towards him from the river bank, helping to pull them both ashore. He didn’t even register his voice giving instructions but Aki was calling an ambulance and Rin was helping him tear Haru’s clothes open at the chest, so that they could listen and pump at it, because that was what you were supposed to do when someone drowned, wasn’t it? 

Distantly, he heard a voice calling Haru’s name, over and over and took a while to realise it was his own at a heart-stopping moment where it didn’t seem like his friend was breathing and Makoto felt a spark move through the air, past him and into that still body. Then Haru was coughing, spitting up murky water and they were in an ambulance one moment, the hospital the next, surrounded by bustling doctors and nurses, seeing to Haru and talking to him. He was barely aware of his own voice answering the questions they asked him. 

He didn’t notice he was shaking until they were alone in the room and Haru’s eyes were fluttering open and it was a conscious effort after that to make himself stop. When those blue eyes turned towards him, asking for an explanation, he was surprised at how composed he sounded and that he was able to give any information at all, but somehow his mind had kept track of everything, even in his daze. 

It was hard, to keep that composure after that, to fix that smile on his face as he left the hospital with Rin and got on the bus. Rin, who had been so silent during all of it that Makoto had nearly forgotten his presence. When Rin said, “I was so scared, I had no idea what to do.” Makoto hurried to reassure him.

“It’s fine. It’s just influenza. He didn’t catch pneumonia; he’ll get better right away.”

“No, its not about Nanase. I meant you, at the bridge.”

The response made the smile freeze on his face in confusion. When Rin told him then that he was shaking when they pulled Haru out of the river, he could only answer honestly, “I was kind of in a daze, I don’t really remember.” He got a strange look in reply. 

But when Rin was gone, Makoto found he couldn’t control his body anymore, the strength leaving him in a sudden rush. His hands started to shake first and then the rest of his body, and the only thing he could do was stay silent as the tears flowed down his face. He purposely ignored the throbbing cut on his finger.


	2. Chapter 2

When he’d got home that night, his mother had taken one look at his tear streaked face and red rimmed eyes and swept him straight into her arms. She’d drawn him a hot bath and put him to bed with an early supper, whispering her comfort into his hair. He’d fallen into a deep, dark sleep as soon as his head had hit the pillow, exhausted. But his dreams hadn’t been peaceful, haunted by images of Haru drowning, of the thing he’d made a deal with in the water and a worrisome question that niggled the back of his mind – when the fisherman had died in the storm, had he been able to find peace in death? Or had the creature claimed him too? Did it claim all those who died in the water?

His dreams were never completely peaceful after That Day, but the worst were the nightmares he couldn’t wake up from, where he was the one that was drowning and it was the thing that was dragging him under. He’d struggle, reaching up, fingers just shy of the surface but never quite making it. He could only wake when the dream itself released him, always at its mercy, and when he roused his sweat soaked sheets felt like they were stifling him in a damp, airless cocoon and he would be gasping for breath. 

He had the nightmare once when Haru was sleeping over. It was the only time he managed to escape from the dream’s clutches early. Haru had had to shake him until he woke, because he had been whimpering and thrashing, his movements only serving to wind the blankets tighter around himself. He’d confessed that he was afraid of the water before their relay with Rin and Nagisa, so when Haru had watched him with a steady hand on his back to help him calm down, he could only whisper, “I dreamt I was drowning.” 

In all honesty, Makoto was amazed that he had been able to swim the relay at all. He had thought the fear would get the best of him, but there, in the final, he had managed to draw strength from his friends, their presence keeping him safe in the water, buoying him and for those two lengths, he hadn’t just swim as if he was running from the water. After, when Haru finished his leg and it became obvious that they’d won, he remembered his heart had been pounding with a feeling like he couldn’t believe what he’d just done. That hadn’t been a feeling he had ever got before, swimming on his own. It was a feeling they could only get with the four of them together. And having Haru by his side helped immensely. 

As time passed, he had the dreams less often and he was left with a vaguer fear of the ocean. The details of the memory of That Day faded a little with age, so that what remained was the feeling of helpless terror and the image of Haru lying still on the river bank. The encounter with the nameless creature became a vaguely remembered nightmare that Makoto sometimes thought of when he saw the scar on his finger – seeing your best friend have a near-death experience was enough to scare anyone out of their minds. He must have cut it on a rock or something.

But the experience had left him with something else. As a child at the time, he hadn’t given much thought to the idea of love or of how it might be connected with Haru. He had grown up seeing his parent’s easy affection and couldn’t remember a time in his life he had ever been without Haru. Being by Haru’s side, swimming together, sharing lunches and ice pops – they’d always been together, and always would, if only because Makoto couldn’t imagine anything else. A life apart from Haru, without him, felt wrong – like something was missing. And he began to wonder – did he love Haru? Was that love? Wanting to be by someone’s side, always? 

When Haru had stopped swimming after their first year of middle school, it had been hard to see him give up something he loved so much, and Makoto hadn’t known what to do but be there for him. It was a different kind of helplessness, and one that Makoto became intimately familiar with over the years. Something had upset him – Makoto had known that much, but nothing he had done made Haru open up about it. All he could do was try to keep going, smiling for Haru and offering him whatever support he could, in the hope that whenever Haru was ready, there would be a helping hand waiting for him to reach out and take when he was ready to come out of himself.

Then, when Rin came back and challenged him, it was like a fire had been lit inside Haru. Watching his best friend emerge from his shell and having Rin back in their lives, it was something he had prayed for, everyday. But Rin hadn’t been like himself, certainly not the boy they had known years ago – he’d completely ignored both Makoto and Nagisa, and while he’d focused his greeting on Haru, the interaction hadn’t been the sort that would, or should, happen between friends. And being dismissed by Rin, even after years of little to no contact, was a special kind of hurt, because Rin had cared before.

It had been something to worry about in empty moments, because if there was one thing Makoto had learned after all these years, it was that Haru did things at his own pace and never did anything if he didn’t want to. No one but Rin had ever managed to rush him into things, and that was mostly through sheer irritation. Rin had a unique ability to ruin Haru’s placidity and rile him to the point of action in a way that nobody else could or would ever dare to, challenging him head on in a way that Haru would never even consider backing down. At the very least, Rin hadn’t lost that particular talent. 

Talking to Coach Sasabe that night when he went to contemplate things in front of the ruins of their old swim club had cleared a few things up for him, and he thought he understood both Rin and Haru a little better for it. That Haru had stopped swimming because his swimming had hurt Rin and Rin was comparing himself to Haru and feeling inadequate. It made him think perhaps Rin needed a hand as well and so he left him a message in an effort to reach out to him, hoping that maybe Rin would see they still cared and reach back, and that maybe he would want to swim with them in a tournament again too. Maybe there was a way to experience that feeling of safety from that relay again – the memory was old and fading and Makoto wanted to feel it again, to know if it was as good as he remembered. 

And then Rei had joined them, or rather was forcefully dragged in by Nagisa, but he was a part of the group now and was striving to get better with admirable determination. Even if that determination hadn’t seemed to be doing much for him for a while. Makoto had found it quite bemusing – he’d never known or heard of someone with as perplexing a problem as Rei, who couldn’t seem to swim even with the right motions and the perfect form. That was just plain weird. 

But then it turned that Rei could swim, but he could only swim the butterfly stroke, the most difficult and technical stroke of them all, but also perhaps the most beautiful – it fit Rei to a T. For a fleeting moment after that revelation his heart had panged, because that was Rin’s stroke. But Rei was Rei, not Rin, would never be Rin and was not a replacement. He was a new friend, one Makoto was fast growing to care for and, as they were discovering, a complete dork in a way that Rin at his cheesiest probably couldn’t beat. Makoto’s imagination provided him with an image of Rei mimicking Haru’s pose – looking off to the side in that cool way of his – and his tone of voice to say, ‘I only swim...butterfly!’ in the way that Haru usually said ‘I only swim Free!’. He couldn’t help but chuckle at that. 

Then seeing Gou, Nagisa and Rei get so excited about holding a training camp and swimming in the ocean, he hadn’t been able to say anything. When they’d turned their hopeful faces to him, he hadn’t been able to refuse anymore than he’d ever been able to say no to Ren and Ran, and so he’d done everything he could think of to try and make it happen regardless of funding problems.

He could feel Haru watching him and tried his best to show he was fine. After all, it had been years and nothing else had happened. It was such a childish fear to have. He must have gotten over it by now. If his heart beat just a little faster when he thought of the ocean, he pushed the thought aside, buried it in the back of his mind, and tried his best to ignore it. There was nothing to be afraid of in a child’s nightmare imaginings – he was a lot older now. And having Haru by his side, along with Nagisa and Rei, gave him a sense of security. Surely nothing would happen. 

The first day of the camp enforced that sentiment: the sky was clear, the sea was calm, sparkling serenely, and the weather was perfectly mild – warm without being scorching outside the shade or chilly when the wind blew. He felt the tension ease out of him a little as they swam together, Rei sometimes falling behind in the water but catching up when they ran, while he himself did the opposite. And even if they didn’t do as much as they had initially planned, it was tiring in a good way that let them know it was working and they were improving anyway. It was only the first day, and what made him happiest was that they were here together. He fell asleep surprisingly easy that night, considering the ocean was only a few meters away.

He wasn’t sure what it was exactly that made him wake later in the night – perhaps it some lingering uneasiness from being near the water, some precognitive instinct that told him something was wrong or perhaps just the loss of warmth from another person in the tent. But when he woke, Rei wasn’t there next to him and there was a storm raging outside that had crept up while they were sleeping. He assumed that perhaps Rei had got up to go to the toilets and thought about going there to meet him with the umbrella they had packed, pausing to survey the furious ocean before him. It was only as he turned that he saw a small figure thrashing amidst the raging waves and he turned back in horror. 

Then he was running into the waves, barely slowing to remove his shirt before he jumped in, fighting to reach his friend. His heart was hammering with fear, his mind feeding him helpful images of Haru drowning all those years ago with crystal clarity, but no, he had to concentrate, he had to save Rei. 

Rei was still flailing as he struggled to stay on the surface as he swam towards him, the waves pushing him back and forth with bruising force. Makoto had almost reached, almost, just a little further and he’d be able to reach Rei’s outstretched hand, but suddenly he wasn’t the only one he could see in front of him. A pale, near translucent face with large eyes and slits where a nose should have been, that wavered between ethereal beauty and terrifying monstrosity, framed by hair like waving seaweed, was bobbing just behind his friend, with too-long arms reaching, poised to grab Rei. 

His breath stuttered and his body froze, forgetting for a moment that he was in water. He couldn’t move, couldn’t speak, couldn’t think. Memories he’d buried long ago with half-forgotten nightmares were abruptly at the forefront, assaulting his mind with a recollection of the most traumatic day of his young life – he’d met this creature before when Haru had drowned, had made a deal with it to save Haru’s life without question and now here it was again.

The creature grinned, all its teeth on frightening display. ‘You didn’t forget me, did you, Ma-chan? And who’s this pretty you’re trying to save this time?’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated, so please review and tell me what you think! :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here's another one. This one's a slow mover and I'm not entirely sure about it, but I felt like this was the right place to cut it off.
> 
> By the way, does anyone know or have a timeline for the Free! canon? I'd appreciate it if anyone could point me to one, so I can get it all straight in my head.

‘You didn’t forget me, did you, Ma-chan? And who’s this pretty you’re trying to save this time?’ 

The creature bobbed a little closer. The raging ocean around him disappeared, the wind dying down to nothing and once again, he was surrounded by black emptiness, just him and it, alone. He had been here before. 

‘We really should stop meeting like this. But I have to say, you’ve grown up pretty well, Ma-chan. Pretty well, indeed...’

Despite that fact that Makoto was standing on and surrounded by nothing, the creature moved as if it was still in water, its oddly proportioned body flowing through the space rather like an octopus he had seen at the sea-life centre once. It swirled closer and circled him, leering, and Makoto couldn’t help but shiver. This can’t be real! Hadn’t it been just a dream? 

‘So you did forget me. I’m hurt, Ma-chan – I’ve thought about you every day, you know? I suppose I’ll have to refresh your memory on our deal, too?’ 

The deal? Oh, the deal. Something about...Haru? And falling in love. But he wasn’t sure what he felt for Haru.

‘Eh, you’re killing me, Ma-chan. I’m happy you abided by Clause One, but it seems that was by accident more than anything, since you forgot. You can’t tell anyone about this, remember? If you do, I get Haruka. And Clause Two - you have to make him fall in love with you. And that means he has to say the words ‘I love you’, by the way. It’s all right here in the small print, you understand.’

A scroll with his name on it materialised in the creature’s hand and opened itself, which it promptly thrust forward under his nose so he could read it, but too close, so that the words were a blur before his eyes. Makoto had to lean back to see it clearly and the creature snatched it back. 

‘And if he doesn’t claim you, then I get you. You can live with me in the ocean, forever.’ That long hand came forward to caress his face and Makoto couldn’t keep his body from shying away. ‘You should probably hurry, Ma-chan, there’s not long left, you know. You’re already seventeen, after all.’

Except Makoto wasn’t sure if he was in love with Haru and didn’t know if there was any possibility of Haru feeling the same way. He knew they loved each other – they were an integral part of each other’s lives and had been for as long as either of them could remember – but there was a difference between that and being in love. Makoto hadn’t particularly thought about being in a relationship either, hadn’t been particularly concerned about it the way others their age seemed to be, because just being with his friends – having fun and doing the things they loved – gave him a contentment that made him feel like he didn’t need anything more than that as long as they were together. He didn’t think Haru had given much thought to dating either. Falling in love felt like something for the future, when they were older and getting jobs perhaps.

Also, making someone say something like that out of desperation, rather than having it said in a moment of sincerity at the budding of a new relationship felt...well, wrong. That, and Haru had always done things at his own pace and never did anything he didn’t want to – if he said it then he meant it, but this would be forcing an issue neither of them were quite ready for. Except, with this deal hanging over his head, he didn’t have that much time, did he? What could he do? 

‘Well, there may be one way we could call off the deal...’ the thing hummed thoughtfully, a sidelong glance taking note of the hope on his face, ‘If I can get the pretty up there, flailing away with those lovely arms, then you and Haruka won’t have to do anything. We can cancel that arrangement, what do you say, Ma-chan? It’ll be a straight up swap – Rei for you. That seems like a fairer deal, right?’

No, not Rei. Makoto wasn’t such a coward that he would sell out a friend to save his own skin and he’d never forgive himself if someone took his place. No one was taking his place in this ridiculous and terrifying affair and no one else would suffer for his sake.

‘Ah, I was just trying to give you an alternative, Ma-chan. Though, with the amount of water he’s swallowing, who knows? I might get him anyway.’ The thing’s bony shoulders lifted in a nonchalant shrug and grinned, all teeth.

No! It wasn’t going to get Rei. Makoto wasn’t sure how, but he would have to find a way to stop him, there had to be a way. But what if the creature pulled him under? Rei wasn’t that good at swimming and had proved he could sink even in the calm waters of a pool while doing perfect movements, never mind a raging ocean in the middle of a storm that had killed experienced, Olympic-level swimmers before. Makoto prayed that the float would find its way back into his hands.

The thing cocked his head. ‘Well it seems like there’s a couple of others thinking to rescue you, so we’ll have to cut our chat short. But I’ll give you some time to think about it, ok, Ma-chan?’ 

The creature faded away, but the darkness remained even as the emptiness gave way to the feeling of water pressing in all around him. He couldn’t see anything. His breath was stuttering like he couldn’t remember how to breathe and he felt water enter his mouth as a wave crashed over his head and forced him under. His body felt leaden and unable to move and the surface, where was the surface? He tried frantically to find it, to find Rei, he had to get to Rei and make sure he didn’t drown, that the creature didn’t pull him under, but the blackness was closing in, making it harder to think, to move. 

Just before it claimed him completely he felt a pair of strong arms around him and knew he was safe.

~#~

Nagisa hadn’t thought twice about following Haru into the water, even knowing it wasn’t the most sensible idea to dive into a storm-wrought ocean but also that he couldn’t let him go in alone. Haru’s sharp eyes had picked their friends out among the furious waves and it looked like they both needed help, even Makoto. As good a swimmer as Haru was, he wouldn’t be able to help both of them at once and if he went to get help, it might end up being too late for one of them. 

They had to fight to gain distance, the waves battering them as they swam and a few times they lost sight of boys over the crest of the wave, but thankfully they came back into view seconds later on each occasion. When they were near, they could see that Rei was still flailing and trying to cry out through mouthfuls of seawater, but Makoto was unnaturally still in the water.

Haru reached Makoto first, crying out his name as he took him in his arms. Makoto didn’t respond and seemed to be struggling just to breathe, but there was no time to worry about that at the moment. Haru had him and that meant Makoto was as good as saved, for now.

“I’ll get Rei-chan!” he called to make sure Haru knew not to worry and could focus on getting Makoto out. “Rei-chan, I’m coming!” 

He reached towards their newest member, but a huge wave, bigger than the others by far, rose over them at that moment. There was no time to be gentle and he knew Rei would forgive him later – he grabbed Rei and dove under, kicking his legs as hard as he could and brought them both up on the other side of it. Taking a quick moment to look around, he saw they were closer to one of the deserted islands than the shore they had camped on, so he decided to head for that, readjusting his grip on Rei to a life-guard’s hold. 

“It’s ok, I’ve got you Rei-chan. Just relax and trust me. Try and kick your legs too, we’re going for that island – its closer, ok? I’ve got you, Rei-chan!”

Nagisa swam as hard as he could, harder than he ever had and it wasn’t long after that – though it felt longer by far – that they were crawling onto the sandy beach, gasping for breath. He dragged Rei further away from the waterline with a hand on his arm and the other boy complied easily, sitting himself down on a log with his head hanging low as he coughed and wheezed till his breath was steady again.

Nagisa, being a practiced swimmer, caught his breath quicker and turned to survey the ocean as he waited. He looked up to the boom of thunder and lightning catching the tips of the waves and knew they were stuck on the island for the night. When he looked down, a flash of bright blue catching his eye in the light, he saw Rei’s kickboard had managed to wash up near them and was bobbing in the shallows, bumping against the rocks. Nagisa leaned over them and fished the float out and turned to give it back to him.

“Here, Rei-chan.”

Rei was slumped over in a defeated sort of posture, one hand covering his eyes. He took the float back with a murmur of thanks but kept his head low, face downcast. 

“Are you ok?” Nagisa probed. 

“Yes...” Rei’s mouth turned down in an unhappy line. “I’m very sorry about this.”

“It’s ok.” Nagisa tried to reassure him, gently.

“But it’s my fault that everybody’s – ”

“That stuff can wait. Right now, we should go look for the other guys.” Nagisa smiled comfortingly, but Rei still looked miserable, so he pressed on. “I’m sure that they’re fine.”

Rei shook his head, his expression troubled, “But...I saw Makoto-senpai coming to help me, but he didn’t seem like his usual self.” His brows lowered in an anxious line and he muttered, more to himself though Nagisa couldn’t help hearing, “And...I thought I saw something in the water.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're slowly moving forward...ever so slowly...8/ As always, feedback is very much appreciated! I love hearing what you think and your comments keep me motivated and committed to improving!


	4. Chapter 4

Makoto was drowning. 

Makoto was drowning and Haru didn’t think he’d ever been as scared in his entire life.

He’d been limp in the water when Haru had caught up to him, unnaturally so – the only other time Haru could remember Makoto being anything like it had been long, long ago, when they were younger, when they were practicing for that relay with Rin, when Rin had still been their friend. He’d frozen in the water, but Rin had saved him then, when Haru himself had been confused and slightly disturbed by it and had done nothing. But it was his turn to save Makoto now. With his arms firmly around his best friend, Haru swam as fast as he could, faster than he ever had before, desperate to get them to the closest shore so he could check Makoto and find the reason for his stillness. 

He’d staggered up the shore, his desperate grip on his friend’s limp form loosening with his exhaustion and felt a pang of guilt when Makoto’s body hit the sand with a soft thump. But Makoto didn’t stir through the fall, which worried him even more.

“Makoto...Makoto!” He still wasn’t stirring, not even when Haru grabbed his shoulders and shook him, distress making him rough and his grip too tight. But he’d worry about that later, once Makoto woke up. If only he would wake up. “Wake up!” 

For a brief moment, panic ruled his mind. He didn’t know what to do. Makoto wouldn’t wake up. Makoto, who had been by his side from before he could remember. Makoto, who Haru couldn’t imagine a life without. Makoto wouldn’t wake up and he didn’t know what to do. 

“Someone...” He looked around, frantic – he needed someone to help. Someone to tell him what to do. Because Makoto wouldn’t wake up. There had to be someone. “Is anyone there?! Nagisa? Rei!” But the beach was empty and Haru could feel that desperation swell within him, threatening to consume him. He didn’t know if they had made it to shore, didn’t know if they were okay. And Makoto wouldn’t wake up. 

He needed to calm down. This panic wouldn’t help anyone. Crying out frantically wasn’t going to do anything. He needed to calm down. He brought his thumb to his mouth, pressing it between his teeth, trying to use the sensation to help him focus and noticed his hand was shaking. It was a conscious effort to force the fear to the back of his mind.   
First things first – Makoto needed immediate attention. He tried to remember what he knew about lifeguarding and first aid. Ah! Listen to the chest! Check the breathing!

He lowered hi s head to Makoto’s chest and held his breath to listen. It felt like too long before he heard anything, but there! A beat, faint and sluggish...then another, then another. He sat back and sighed to himself in relief. Until a thought occurred to him – what if he was injured? But a quick sweep of his body showed nothing. Then what....

He put his hand to Makoto’s cheek and turned his head gently towards him so he could put an ear to his mouth and listen to his breathing, only to hear the faintest rasp, too shallow to do much of anything. 

“His breathing is so weak....” What were you supposed to do in this situation? Haru wished he could remember more. CPR? That was if his heart wasn’t beating, right? Then, mouth to mouth, to help him breath? That seemed like the best course for now. But, first there was something – yes, tilt the head back to clear the airways...then, pinch the nose...the mouth falls open and....

Makoto chose that moment to take a sudden, gasping breath that didn’t quite make it past his throat and turned to the side, coughing out bile and sea water, choking and wheezing. Haru leaned over him, equal parts relief and concern warring within as he called his name until Makoto looked back at him, eyes glazed and confused.

“Are you okay?”

Makoto was slow to respond, eyes roving around him, and when he did his voice was weak and raspy. “Where are we?” 

Was disorientation a bad sign, or was it normal? “I’m guessing this is Sukishima,” he supplied helpfully, “The island facing the tents.”

“Where’s Rei?” Makoto levered himself up on shaking arms and turned his head to look around. But when he saw nothing, he grew frantic. “Rei!”

“You shouldn’t be moving around! You need to rest!” Haru tried to calm him down. Makoto had just survived one hell of an ordeal, had nearly drowned and Haru could see the way his body was shaking and weak. It made Haru want to kick himself for allowing this expedition to the ocean to happen in the first place. If he worked himself up now, he’d get worse. And for Haru as well, now that Makoto had woken up and was out of immediate danger, that initial panic had worn off, receding to the back of his mind where the image of his best friend’s limp body would haunt his nightmares. He’d seen Nagisa grab Rei and dive under an especially large wave and had lost sight of them then, too focused on saving Makoto. But he had faith in Nagisa’s abilities and was sure he had gotten Rei and himself to shore, even if it was a different part. They’d had different trajectories, after all.

Except Makoto was trying to lever himself onto his feet, his face a picture of fear and determination as he tried to head right back into the ocean. Haru wasn’t sure what he was thinking, with that look on his face, and it concerned him. “What are you doing? You nearly drowned!”

“But Rei’s in trouble! Rei – you don’t understand, there’s – he’s going to get pulled under! It’s going to – he’s going to drown!”

Haru found himself grabbing him and pulling him back down, a feat that was easier than it should have been because of how unsteady he was. “Nagisa’s taking care of it!” Makoto froze in his arms and looked at him. Haru kept his hold on him firm as he tried to make his voice more reassuring. “You don’t need to worry.”

But Makoto didn’t look as relieved as he should have at that information, turning back to look at the still raging ocean and the ongoing storm with a worried frown on his face. “Nagisa....”

Haru took his moment of distraction to pull his Makoto further up the beach, to a sheltered spot under the jut of a rock. Makoto didn’t resist him, caught in some inner struggle of his own.

There was a moment of indecision where Makoto seemed to be fighting with himself, and Haru could see all sorts of things flitting over his face, but the strongest ones he could pick up were fear and despair. He didn’t understand why they were there. Then Makoto turned to him, apprehension clear on his face, even as he tried to hide it – Haru had known him for too long for Makoto to be able to really successfully hide anything. And this expression – Haru had seen it before, though it hadn’t been on Makoto’s face for a while now. When they were younger, he’d had nightmares that had trapped him and when Haru had woken him from them, had asked what he’d dreamed about, he’d have this look on his face. Like he wanted to say so much, but in the end he would only say that he’d dreamt he was drowning. And Haru had never pushed, because Makoto had looked like he might break.

“Haru...when we were in the water...” Makoto’s voice was hesitant, even though he finally convinced himself to speak. Haru held his gaze, unwilling to let that hesitation stop him here. “You didn’t...you didn’t see anything, right? Nothing happened when you got to me...right?”

“...What are you talking about?” Makoto was searching his face and it made him want to answer in a way that would ease his distress. But he could only say, honestly, “There was nothing. Why are you asking? Was there something there? Did it bite you?”

“Nothing? Definitely nothing?” 

Maybe something had bit him. Or stung him. There were a multitude of things in the sea after all. But could a toxin make Makoto act like this?

“There was nothing.” Haru put conviction in his tone, because not only was it the truth, it also made Makoto’s face relax. He watched it ease and thought maybe he could push a little more for some kind of explanation. “Makoto?”

He didn’t get further than that because Makoto covered his face with his hands and Haru could see the faint trembling in his shoulders. So he put his hand on his back, they way he had after the nightmares and they sat for a while in silence.

~#~

Rin didn’t know what woke him up – it was just some indescribable feeling, like something was calling him. In his daze, he could feel it, pulling him somewhere and he wanted to follow it. The clock said it was just past two in the morning and when he looked out the window, he could see there was a fierce storm raging outside. He slid his feet off the bed, barely feeling the cold floor and not completely aware of his feet leading him past Nitori’s bed, towards the door.

As he lowered his hand to the door handle, he heard Nitori’s sleepy voice calling him. “Senpai? What are you doing up?”

He had heard a voice, clear as crystal, but Nitori’s calling to him woke him fully out of his dreamlike state and even as he woke it was already fading away. It filled him with inescapable feeling of loss.

“Ah, I thought I heard something, but it was nothing. I just woke up because I was thirsty, I guess.”

“Oh. Well, I filled a bottle earlier from the fountain. Here, you can have some, senpai.” The other boy handed him a bottle from his bedside, still full.

“Thanks, Nitori. Go back to sleep.” He gets back into bed and closes his eyes, but the moment haunts him. The voice had sounded like his father.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! :)


	5. Chapter 5

“I thought I’d gotten over it.” Makoto spoke though his hands, his voice sounding a somewhat muffled by them. “Sorry I dragged you into this.”

“It’s not your fault.” 

“But...I was the one who decided to hold a camp. And I chose to start the swim club.” The words started to pour out of him, because even if he didn’t know how he felt about Haru in a romantic sense, he knows that he needs him. And right then, he needed Haru to know that. “But that was because I wanted to swim with you again. I wanted to swim in a relay with everyone again. But...if you’re not there...it’s meaningless without you! I want to swim with you!

Haru looked at him in astonishment, but Makoto could see in his eyes that his words were sinking in, that he was taking them to heart. And Makoto thought that some part of Haru must have always known, even if the words had never been said aloud or quite as clearly. He opened his mouth, perhaps in surprise or response, but at that moment they heard Nagisa, running up the beach towards them. 

“Ah, there they are! Haru-chan! Mako-chan!”

When Makoto saw Rei, unharmed, following behind Nagisa at a more sedate pace, he felt relief wash through him. He hadn’t been drowned. 

“Rei! Nagisa! Fantastic! You’re both okay.” But the relief was replaced by guilt only a few seconds later – in the end, he hadn’t been able to help and had given Haru and Nagisa someone else to save and worry over. “Rei...Sorry that I couldn’t save you.”

Even as he said it, he could see his guilt mirrored in Rei’s downcast face. “Don’t say that! I’m the one who should apologise!” 

“It’s okay. I’m just glad that you’re unharmed.” He softened his voice to reassure Rei that he wouldn’t hold it against him. He’d already been through quite an ordeal and didn’t need to feel worse. And Makoto could understand why Rei had been out there, because he had just confessed much the same sentiment to Haru – Rei wanted to swim with everyone too. But Haru seemed to disagree, and strongly at that. It took Makoto by surprise a little.

“It’s not okay. Why were you swimming in the ocean at night?”

When Makoto looked behind him, he could see that Haru’s face was set in a stern expression and his eyes were narrowed in anger. He hadn’t seen this level of response or intensity in Haru for a long while, because Haru hadn’t cared enough to have much of a reaction to anything in years. 

When Rei looked down, unable to face that anger in someone who was usually so placid, Nagisa spoke up for him, in a mirror of Makoto’s thoughts from moments ago. “You were practicing, right? He wants to catch up to the rest of us.”

Haru seemed taken aback at that, honest surprise softening his face when Rei mumbled his affirmation. He looked away deflated, as if ashamed of his outburst in the face of Rei’s earnestness. Nagisa took the opportunity to rebuke them all for not thinking sensibly in a dangerous situation and now that they were out of danger, Makoto could agree that he probably hadn’t taken the best course of action. If Haru and Nagisa hadn’t become aware of the situation by themselves and rescued them, the sea would have taken both Makoto and Rei.

But they weren’t completely out of the woods yet – they were stuck on a deserted island until the storm eased, all of them wearing nothing but their sleep shorts. The immediate concern was to find shelter and as they looked up the cliff face from their place on the beach, they could see the shine from a lighthouse. It seemed as good a place as any to head to.

As they made their way up the cliff, Haru stuck close to Makoto, and the fact that he was keeping such a close watch on him made Makoto feel hyper-aware of his presence. His mind lingered on the encounter in the ocean and on the second clause of the contract in particular – how was he supposed to make Haru say I love you? 

There was a part of Makoto that had always been good at making Haru get out of his tub to experience new things and do things he wouldn’t normally care for, but this was a little different. If Haru loved him already, then making him say it would be a case of Makoto saying it first and giving him an opportunity to say it back. But that wasn’t the situation he was working with and Haru wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. Would it work if he said, ‘I love you’ in a platonic sense? But he could already see Haru telling him he was being silly and sentimental. There had to be some way, though.

When they finally arrived before the lighthouse, Makoto felt his heart drop in disappointment. It looked derelict – it didn’t seem like there would be anyone inside to help them. And he couldn’t help but feel a little scared at Haru’s suggestion that they go inside, even if it was the only shelter available and there was little choice in the matter. The windows were dark and musty, covered in cobwebs and Makoto had found out today, for the second time in his life, that monsters were real.

But Haru turned to him, unusually attentive, to ask, “Makoto. Are you okay?”

He felt touched by the concern in those eyes and gave him a reassuring smile in return. He had caused enough worry for tonight. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Hey...stop talking like a couple, about to enter a haunted house.” Nagisa had paused to look back at them, his voice intentionally peevish. Makoto felt his face heat up at those words – a couple. If they said ‘I love you’ to each other, that’s what they would be, wouldn’t it? A couple. It made him wonder. He looked away from Haru.

Haru, on the other hand, seemed to find his comment somewhat irritating and decided to respond in like fashion. “Did you see that shadow?” It made Nagisa squeal in frightened delight, but Makoto was reminded once again of monsters in the dark. He hugged himself, clutching his elbow close – he didn’t know what he would do if he had to face more of them tonight. 

Haru seemed to notice his fear and looked apologetic. He didn’t repeat his joke again after that, even for the considerable pleasure of teasing Nagisa. He tried to make up for scaring him by suggesting that he would check the place out ahead of them, but the fear inside Makoto built at the thought of him going in alone. Nagisa had shown him scary movies before and things always went wrong when the group was separated.

“It’ll be fine since we’re all together.” He was reassuring himself as much as the others.

Haru took the lead when they walked inside, placing himself solidly in front of Makoto as they searched the place. Meanwhile, Nagisa seemed more animated, teasing Rei even more than he usually did. Once or twice, Makoto thought about stopping him from antagonising the poor boy further, but Rei seemed to be taking it well enough, looking livelier himself and losing his despondency as he fed off of Nagisa’s energy.

After finding some tinned food and bottled water that Makoto picked at, lacking an appetite, Nagisa decided the best way to while away the time would be to play games. In truth, Makoto had felt exhausted and had been all for just sleeping, but seeing Rei’s mood lift with Nagisa’s antics, with even Haru open to participating, he hadn’t had the heart to push it. So they played.

Rei told them of his embarrassment at leaving his pants in the baths when he was on an elementary school field trip, and Makoto couldn’t help but cringe in sympathy. Poor guy. And then, when Haru had acquiesced to Nagisa’s demand to tell them about his first love, Makoto had felt confusion blossom within him. Haru had had a first love? Why hadn’t he known about it? It made his thoughts whirl inside him, and for some reason, he couldn’t help feeling a little afraid and troubled that Haru had not only had such an experience, but hadn’t told him about it.

But Haru had told his story with a deadpan face and hadn’t let the teasing glint in his eyes show until the punch line – it had been a waterfall. He hadn’t been able to keep his jaw from dropping in exasperation or keep the small sigh of relief from escaping him. Nagisa had sighed and told him that it didn’t count as a love story, but Makoto couldn’t help but think fondly that his best friend’s relationship with the water could certainly be compared to a love affair. 

When Nagisa had hopped up next to take his turn, his impression of a penguin had been so absurd and ridiculous that Makoto couldn’t help but laugh. But Nagisa had pointed it out and looked at him with something akin to relief then and Makoto realised – all of their liveliness had been for his sake. They had been trying to shake him out of his reticence and Makoto felt at once bad about worrying them and happy that they had put in such effort for his sake. They were good friends and he was glad for them.

“Uh...I’ve been wondering...” Rei’s voice was hesitant. “When you tried to save me, you were acting strangely.”

It was the question Makoto had been dreading, but Haru was swift to cut in.

“We’re not going to discuss it.”

“But...”

“Just drop it!” Haru’s expression was stern, his eyes hard and his mouth a firm line, the way he had been on the beach. Makoto couldn’t help but feel surprised again as he gazed at his friend – Haru hadn’t been this protective of him in a long time. It felt...nice. Haru had always had a unique way of making him feel safe, but that part of him had been buried for a few years, when he had tried to bury his love for the water by not swimming and become more and more disinterested in everything. It touched Makoto deeply to see it come out again for his sake.

“Thanks, Haru.” He meant it sincerely and tried to convey it in his voice. But at the same time, he felt bad that Rei was getting yelled at for him. He knew he would have to say something, give them some sort of explanation so that they would stop wondering, otherwise Rei’s curiosity and Nagisa’s inquisitiveness would never allow them to let it go. 

But he’d never been very good at lying – there was no way he could make something up from scratch, especially not with Haru sitting there, watching him closely so that he could step in at any sign of distress. So he looked down, away from that protective gaze, and gave them the moment he had first started doubting the water; a story that Haru would not find unfamiliar – the story of the kind, elderly fisherman he used to know when he was younger, the goldfish that had died despite all of his efforts and the storm that taken lives in the same distance they’d swum every day. He avoided mentioning That Day, however, not trusting himself to be able to skirt around its secrets successfully.

“That’s enough, Makoto.” Haru stopped him, always able to read the lilt of his voice, the lowering of his eyes, the pallor of his cheeks. And Makoto was thankful that he didn’t need to go on, that the explanation he had given was enough. Haru knew there was more – that the day he had nearly drowned played a part in Makoto’s fear and remembered the nightmares had shaken him out of afterwards – and wouldn’t let Makoto be put through that.

He just didn’t know how much more and Makoto had to make sure it stayed that way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! Please do let me know what you think, if you're still reading.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hehehe, It's been a while since the last chapter, hasn't it? I really am sorry about that - RL got busy and I had my Masters workload to deal with, but as I said in my note for Sailor Makoto! I am still alive and continuing my fics. Though updates will be slow from now, hopefully they won't be as far apart as this one.

“But you still tried to save me.”

Rei hung his head low as guilt flooded him, that he had done a rather stupid thing in deciding to swim in the ocean at night with no supervision and that Makoto had nearly drowned trying to help him. That it was his actions that had put that look of fear in Makoto's eyes, when those eyes had held nothing but warmth and kindness before. Haru had been right to yell at him, should have yelled at him more and Makoto and Nagisa had been too quick to forgive something so stupid.

An image of Makoto's face as he swam towards him flashed before his eyes. When the float had been swept out of his hands, the sudden and very real possibilty of drowning right there and then, of his family never even finding his body had flooded his body with fear. He didn't want to die. He didn't want to die.

The thought had fuelled his fear, giving his body a surge of adrenaline and arms that should have been tired from an entire day of intense training had renewed strength. And there was a strange sort of hyper-awareness that came with an adrenaline rush, that his body seemed capable of more in that moment than ever before and his mind seemed more alert. He was conscious of everything around him to an improbable extent, but his focus was on keeping his head above the water and the figure that was rapidly coming towards him, with the promise of help. Those few moments, Rei had experienced with a crystal clarity that he would probably never achieve again.

Makoto's face had been fraught with fear, with panic and worry, but then, when he had almost come close enough to touch, something had happened, and that expression had transformed to one of shock and terror. The sort of terror that could paralyse a body. And that had been exactly what had happened. Makoto had frozen in the water, eyes wide, whites showing all around the iris. And Rei had felt something slip past him in the water, a silken caress melting down the side of his leg and a monstrous apparition in his peripheral vision: a pale face, too many teeth, a cruel smile.

Rei didn't know or understand what happened after that. All he knew was that Makoto was limp in the water before him, that the adrenaline rush was wearing off and his limbs were growing heavier. It was getting harder and harder to keep his head above the water and he kept swallowing the brine every time he tried calling out for help, hoping against hope that someone, anyone would hear him and come save them. Time seemed too slow and too fast all at once, the waves tossing him side to side and crashing over him as he tried to flail towards Makoto's unconscious form, even though he didn't know what he would do if he did manage to get near, given that it was hard enough keeping himself near the surface and his mind was beginning to fog with panic.

But, like miracles sent from heaven itself, Haruka and Nagisa had appeared through the waves and words could never describe the relief he had felt when Nagisa's strong arms had grabbed him, even though the next thing he had done had been to promptly pull him underwater.

He wasn't sure what he'd expected Makoto to say when he'd asked about what had happened in his failed rescue attempt. That he'd...what? Tell Rei that there was a monster in the ocean? That there was something lurking about in the water, like a - a kappa, or a hyosube or something? Like they were in a horror movie or a fairytale? It sounded so absurd, even in his head, of course Makoto wouldn't say something like that. And why was he so convinced he'd seen such a thing anyway? Most people would have waved it away as some kind of panic-induced hallucination - and that was probably just what it was. He was being foolish. Makoto had given them a reason for his fear, a story that sounded so much more reasonable than the wild imaginings in Rei's head, of a childhood phobia that had gotten the better of him.

Yet...Makoto's face at the time had suggested that he had seen the same apparition that Rei had. The shock and the terror as he'd drawn near and looked past him; Rei shuddered, it must have been right behind him. Rei wanted to tell himself that it had just been a figment of his imagination and forget about it, but even as he thought that, there was a part of his mind that was refusing to let go. A part of his mind that was convinced his vision was real.

He shook himself out of his musings when Nagisa asked, "Why did you agree to the training camp, if you're afraid of the water?"

"Because I wanted to swim with everyone."

Rei couldn't help but catch his breath at Makoto's answer, an echo of his own feelings and he understood why Makoto had forgiven his foolish actions so quickly earlier. It was because he felt the same way, and coming to a place he feared was his own version of foolishness. Looking around at the other's faces, he could see that in that moment they too felt the same rush of affection for Makoto as he did.

They didn't sleep that night in the lighthouse, instead staying up looking at the stars when the storm cleared, each of them making up constellations for clusters of stars in the sky. And it wasn't long after that the sun began to rise, turning the sky pink and its light shimmering over a deceptively peaceful ocean. Rei couldn't help but look at it suspiciously. When he snuck a surreptitious glance at Makoto, his upperclassman was looking at the water with an unreadable look on his face, though Rei thought he could see a hint of trepidation. Understandable, given what he had revealed to them only hours, but Rei still couldn't help but wonder.

For Makoto's benefit, none of them suggested swimming over at first, but relying on someone to come and rescue them would have meant they would have to wait a while. It was still early enough that the sun was still sitting on the horizon, which meant it was probably barely five o'clock and it wasn't likely that a lot of people would have woken up. Especially not Amakata-sensei or Gou, neither of whom seemed like particularly early risers.

So, after standing on the beach and seeing no one go by for a while, Nagisa tentatively suggested he would swim over and find someone to help. Makoto's response was instant.

"No!" He seemed to realise his outburst was uncharacteristic and worrisome a moment later. "I- I mean...no, I can go too. It...it'll be better if we go together." He gave them a placating smile.

"Don't be stupid." Haruka's voice was terse.

"Hm...you don't have to force yourself, Mako-chan. I'll be fine!"

"Ah, sorry, sorry, it's fine. The ocean's peaceful now...and since I'm not alone, I won't be scared, so its ok." Makoto waved his hands before him in appeasement, determined to make them stop worrying about him, but Rei thought the smile on his face seemed a little tight.

"Then, me too." A shadow of alarm passed over Makoto's face at Rei's words before it was quickly hidden. "We can all go."

There was a pause before Makoto responded, his voice hesitant. To Rei, it felt as if he were convincing himself more than answering them. "O- okay. Yeah. I guess, its better if we're all together."

"Well, let's go then! I want to get back to the tents and have a nice long nap. And then, a really big breakfast." Nagisa led the way into the water, chattering about all the things he wanted in said breakfast, and Rei followed him in with one last glance at Makoto's face. Makoto smiled back at him reassuringly and Rei noticed that standing behind them both, Haruka was looking at Makoto with a frown on his face.

~#~

Haru made sure to keep a watchful eye on Makoto that day, sticking close to him whether on land or sea. Though he'd said, several times in fact, that he was fine and capable of managing his fear, Haru could feel that he was holding something back. Because Makoto was the type to say that he was fine for someone else's sake, even if he wasn't - had proved it by coming on this training camp in the first place.

And Haru knew Makoto like the back of his hand. Could see how he manoeuvred himself to keep them all in his eye line and tensed whenever it looked like there was a little too much distance between one of them and the rest. His strokes weren't as fluid as they had been the day before and Haru could see from the way he swam that some of his confidence was lost. He'd avoided putting his face in the water as much as he could, sticking to breaststroke with his head raised.

But it wasn't until that night, when they had finally retired to their tents, that anything happened. Nagisa had relinquished his place by Haru without a word, an unspoken agreement between all of them that it was better for the best friends to be together after the events of the previous nights.

Makoto had fallen asleep fairly quickly, his soft breathing beside him a familiar, comforting sound. Haru though hadn't been able to sleep, despite the physical exhaustion gained from the day's exertions. He lay on his back, staring at the ceiling of the tent and listening to the waves outside, waiting for sleep to come with tired eyes but unable to stop his mind from working. Time seemed to have passed so quickly from the beginning of the school year, when they had met Nagisa again after years, to being at the training camp, and things from the past were being stirred back to the surface. And Makoto, who had stayed unobtrusively by his side throughout the years, had nearly died last night and had then spent the rest of the day pretending everything was fine.

It was troublesome and irritating and Haru didn't really know what to do. Maybe it was better to end the camp and go home. But if he said something, would it hurt Makoto, who had been trying so hard to carry on as normal? If he said something, the others would know why, would look at Makoto and Makoto would feel shamed and his efforts to conquer his fears would be in vain, ruined by Haru. And if he said nothing, Makoto would keep going as he was. To say something, to not say something, his thoughts circled round and round as his eyes grew heavy.

Beside him, the steady rhythm of Makoto's breath stuttered, segueing into shallow, panicked gasps that took no air in at all. While daylight had kept his fears at bay, in his sleep he hadn't been able to keep his guards up and his dreams were making him whimper and moan and toss and turn. And call his name, a pleading litany,

"Haru. Haru. Haru. Haru. Haru."

Any trace of sleep that had been creeping upon him left as if he had been doused in ice water. He turned to his friend's writhing form and shook him, his grip on his shoulder perhaps a bit too firm and tight. But Makoto needed to wake up. The sooner, the better.

"Makoto! Makoto, wake up!"

Makoto woke with a gasp, panting as if he had been denied air, green eyes roving the tent until they finally landed on Haru. Only then did he start to calm, sitting up and bringing his legs to his chest, hiding his face in his knees. Haru moved his hand to his back, until his breathing steadied, and waited.

They sat in silence for a while, with the sound of their breaths, the wind and the waves outside. Haru remembered waking Makoto up from a nightmare before, when they were much younger; how Makoto had been so distressed he was near tears, only able to tell Haru that he'd been drowning. He waited patiently, to see if Makoto would tell him anything this time, but he only said,

"Thanks, for waking me up, Haru"

Haru could only frown in response to that, thinking _of course, that's not something you need to thank me for, idiot_ and _what else would I do_ , but Makoto wouldn't look up and meet his eyes and saying it out loud would have sounded too mean. So instead he muttered,

"Maybe we should go home."

Makoto did look up at that, freezing when their eyes met and a thousand things were said and unsaid, warring between the urge to run away and the commitment to stay. Then, he shook his head.

"I'll be fine, Haru.... I'm just going to sit here for a bit, before I go back to sleep. Sorry, I woke you."

Haru huffed an irritated sigh. "Don't be stupid, Makoto."

But he lay down, facing away, understanding Makoto's words to be a request for privacy so that he could gather himself back up again. He kept an ear open to his movements and when he heard Makoto eventually lay back down again, he scooted backwards offering his warmth and relaxed a little when he felt Makoto's hand clutch the fabric of his nightshirt, like when they were little. He was glad that his presence could comfort Makoto so much.

~#~

He'd woken up with his heart hammering in his chest, terror still holding it in a vice grip and making it thunder in his ears, his nightmare fogging his mind. It was hard to calm down when the vestiges of his dream wouldn't stop haunting him and his mind wouldn't let go of the panic of losing Haru and of being dragged under the water, unable to get free no matter how much he struggled. With his face hidden his face in his knees, he concentrated on breathing properly and slowing his heart rate, missing the warmth of Haru's hand on his back. But he was grateful that Haru had laid back down, turning away and respecting his request for a semblance of privacy in their small tent - it would have been much harder to pull himself together under Haru's watchful eyes, eyes that could see right through him and witness every graceless moment he struggled.

Eventually, a wave of tiredness washed over him, sapping the strength from his limbs. Fear was such an exhausting emotion and it had stayed at the edge of his consciousness through the entire day, keeping him high-strung, but also trying his hardest to hide it and pretend that he was fine. He lay back down, a feeling of helplessness gnawing at his chest. He heard Haru move and turned his head to see him shuffling backwards, towards him and automatically reached out to hold onto the back of his nightshirt, the way he had when they were younger. Because he'd always believed that Haru was the strongest, most amazing person he knew and could protect Makoto from anything. Looking at that strong back, he wanted to say so many things.

"Haru."

The name burst out of his throat, though he didn't really know what he wanted to say. He couldn't articulate the mess of thoughts flitted through his head even if he wanted to. He didn't know what to do, felt helpless and out of depth with a deadline for a task he didn't want to do and had no idea how to achieve hanging over his head. _Tell me you love me_ , he wanted to say. But it was a desperate and selfish thought. _I don't want to die_. _I don't want the monster to get me_. _I want to protect Haru, but I'm still so scared_. But none of it would pass his lips. Instead:

"Promise me...."

Haru turned his head a little to show he was listening, waiting for Makoto to continue.

"Promise me you won't go in the water alone. Please?"

Silence. Haru was thinking, probably wondering why Makoto would ask him something like that. He raised himself onto one elbow and turned his head more fully, searching Makoto's face. But Makoto couldn't explain himself.

"Please? Promise me, Haru?"

He must have heard some note of desperation in his voice. Makoto rarely asked anything of anyone, let alone begged or pleaded. To ask like that, it must have been very important to him and Haru wanted that anxious look to leave his face. So he nodded, voicing his compliance with a quiet, "Okay. I promise."

Relief eased some of the tension on his face, even if it didn't erase it completely. Makoto wouldn't meet his eyes again, but he didn't let go of his shirt for the rest of the night either.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whooo, well, wow, that was one hell of a chapter to write. I'm really hoping that it hasn't come off as melodramatic - I'm always afraid that'll happen when the angst gets ramped up. But as you can see, we're finally moving away from canon.
> 
> Next chapter - we'll be paying Rin a visit. In his dreams ;)
> 
> Feedback is always appreciated!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Makoto comes to a realisation and Rin has a dream.

"I think...I want to go home after all. I'm sorry."

He hadn't been able to think of anything else - even if it would make them worry about him, at least it would get Haru and Rei and Nagisa away from the ocean and the Thing. They'd just think it was for a different reason than it actually was. But every instinct in his body was telling him to take his friends and run far away from the open water, where he couldn't see the bottom and the creature could drag any one of them under at a whim. A pool felt so much safer. In a pool he could always see the other end, could always see the bottom - it wasn't endless, like the sea, like nature's waters. A pool was contained. Controlled.

"Makoto...OK. I'll go tell Gou and Amakata-sensei."

He'd let Haru handle that, unable to bring himself to look anyone in the eye. Thankfully, when Haru had declared the training camp over and they were going home, no one said anything about it. Not to him or within his hearing, anyway. There had been a brief exclamation of confusion from Gou, but Nagisa had put a hand on her arm and led her away to speak in private and Makoto's ears burned red at the thought that he had to explain to her and Sensei that they were running away because Tachibana Makoto was a big scaredy-cat and was acting like a child. But that was better than them knowing the truth, wasn't it? And it was certainly better than letting them stay near the danger. But it didn't stop him feeling like a burden to them.

In surprisingly little time, they'd called Coach Sasabe who'd agreed to meet them that afternoon and take them back soon enough, and had diligently packed away all of their belongings again. Gou left for a short time to 'say goodbye to onii-chan', but soon enough, they were waiting by the docks for the boat, their bags piled high before them. If Coach Sasabe said anything when they came, Makoto didn't notice, lost in thought and only shaking himself out of it when the boat bumped into the docks as they moored. He bowed deeply in apology before they all parted ways, promising to be up early the next day for practice at the pool.

The walk home was a silent one and Makoto declined when Haru asked him if he wanted to come over for a while, and then promptly felt bad about it, because Haru was reaching out to him and he didn't do that often anymore. Hadn't, in fact, for quite a while. But Haru had waved off his apologies before muttering a quiet 'see you tomorrow' and going into his house.

The house was quiet when he walked in, his parents and siblings seemingly out for the day, for there was no reply when he called out "I'm home". He set his bags down in the hallway, feeling a little lazy about unpacking, and wandered into the living room. It was rare for him to experience this sort of quiet and solitude - the house was always lively and bustling with activity and outside of it he was usually with Haru and the rest of his friends. And, truth be told, he wasn't really the sort of person who enjoyed being alone either. But, he supposed, sometimes it was good to be alone, with only the silence and his own thoughts for company. He had a lot to think about after all. And with a deadline looming in the distance, he couldn't afford to bury his head in the sand.

He sprawled out on the sofa, burying his face in one of the cushions before turning his head to the side, allowing his gaze to drift listlessly around the room, roving over the walls, the ceiling, the TV cabinet with its little mementos and framed pictures surrounding the appliances, interspersed between DVDs and such. His eyes lingered on the photos, the ones at the front being fairly recent ones of Ren and Ran, but there were a few older ones from when he was very little pushed to the back that he hadn't seen for such a long time that he'd pretty much forgotten they existed. A lot of family and Haru.

He reached over and picked one up, to find that it was a very old picture of him and Haru together. In the photo, he couldn't have been much older than one, judging not only from his size and attire, but also the fact that he was leaning against Haru to keep standing. The equally young baby-Haru in the picture was sitting, squinting against the sun into the camera, with his chubby legs splayed and bowl of cake held between them, cream and frosting smeared around his mouth.

And the baby-Makoto in the picture...was kissing him, little mouth pressed against his best friend's cheek. Huh. He stared at it, captivated.

"Makoto, you're home! I thought you'd be camping for longer."

He started at the sound of his mother's voice, not having heard her come in. He dithered, unable to think of an excuse - he hadn't really thought of what he'd say to his parents. But thankfully, she didn't dwell on it before getting distracted by what was in his hands.

"Oh, what are you looking at? I remember that! My, it's been such a long time." she laughed, "That was your first birthday - look at what a chubby baby you were!" She took the picture out of his hands and sat down, cradling it in hers. "You had such round cheeks, people were forever kissing them and poking them - you seemed to think that was the normal thing to do, haha. This one was taken by Rika, she has a small collection of them, you know - you two were always kissing each other, it was so cute. But she took most of them with her and only gave me this one. I should probably ask for copies of a few more - I think I'll email her."

He stared at the picture, feeling a little dazed, as she handed it back to him. His mother carried on talking, but he wasn't listening, her words washing over him as a soothing chatter. There was a slow sort of realisation that began to dawn on him then and in the following days when they celebrated Haru's birthday with fireworks and a messy looking cake that Makoto's mother helped him make with Nagisa and Rei and Gou and the twins (who absolutely insisted on helping decorate, so the cake top was littered with mismatched oddments of birthday and Christmas decorations and shaky iced writing). Watching Haru's pleased and surprised face as he blew out the candles and watched their amateur display of fireworks, the way the light reflected in his eyes, that small smile that Makoto treasures, all the little things that make Haru, _Haru_ , that Makoto has painstakingly learnt over the years- it all feels like little pieces of a puzzle slowly coming together inside him. He was on the verge of understanding something colossal, grasping at something just hovering at the tip of his tongue.

Remembering his first meeting with...the Thing...the memory that Makoto had put aside in the back of his mind as a nightmare for years and had successfully forgotten, of when he had made the deal to save Haru's life - Makoto hadn't hesitated then. Hadn't thought of the consequences, hadn't thought of the price, hadn't thought of anything but saving Haru. It had been his only moment of certainty, because no price was too high to pay when it came to Haru.

And he remembered, he had tried before in those early days, just after he had made the deal, to make Haru fall in love with him. Of course, he'd been young and Haru had been young and Makoto hadn't really had much of an idea of how to go about doing something like that. He'd looked to his parents as a real life example, as well as the stories he liked to read - but it was mostly his parents, who had an easy and affectionate relationship with each other, that he tried to take note of, because being in love was something that he had always associated with them. When he'd asked what made them in love with each other, they'd told him that it was the little things they did for each other, the time they spent together and the ways they showed that they cared for each other. Love was accepting someone, caring for them and making them happy.

Makoto had always been a caring boy, by nature, so it wasn't a particularly big adjustment for him to make. Rather, he'd tried to put more into the patterns that were already there. Looking after Haru, always reaching out to him, sharing lunches and ice pops, all of those little things the way his mother and father did things for each other, had started as a child's idea of romance.

But after their first year of middle school, when Haru had stopped swimming, he'd felt instinctively that there was something else going on that had devastated Haru and Makoto hadn't wanted to burden him with anything more. So those little things had stopped being about trying to make Haru fall in love with him and more about trying to pull Haru out of his funk and make him feel better, even as his memory of That Night and The Thing had faded into a half-remembered nightmare. Because Haru's wellbeing and happiness meant to world to him. Had always been the most important thing in his world.

And that was what love was, wasn't it? With a slow click, like gears locking into place, Makoto realised...he loved Haru. Was in love with Haru. Had been for a very long time, since before he'd known what that sort of love was.

Oh.

~#~

_He is outside Haru's house. He has no idea what has driven him there, what has led him to ring the doorbell. The sun is bright overhead, casting sharp shadows and a dazzling haze. He can hear the doorbell ring, a loud echoing cavernous sound that resonates in his ears. Again. And again. And again. But the echo is always empty._

"There's no one home."

_But the door is unlocked, sliding open under his touch. Strange._

"I'm coming in." _A warning, just in case._

_There's a goldfish bowl on the floor. Makoto's goldfish. There is only one, a vivid blood red colour, but the shadows are long and growing longer and there is a curious tinkle of a bell in the air. The floor creaks behind him. Haru! He feels...surprised. By his sudden presence? Or the sudden wave of anger that rises up inside him? He doesn't know._

"You're home after all."

"What are you doing here?" _He doesn't sound at all phased that Rin is here, in his house. Like he doesn't even care._

"I'm here to challenge you to a race, obviously."

"I only swim free." _Haru's face is placid, as always, devoid of any emotion, there is no feeling in those eyes, that look through him, not seeing him, not acknowledging him, looking past him. But the tilt of his mouth is mocking. That stupid, smug, immovable face fuels the rage growing inside him, a rising crescendo roaring in his ears as Haru turns his back on him and walks away. HOW DARE HE? **How dare he**? _

_The shadow of the bowl overtakes his legs, the fish are swirling all around him, the ripples of the water casting wavering patterns along the floor, the walls, the ceiling, making the world look shaky. Uncertain. Unsteady._

_...how dare he? How can he just leave?_

"Wait!"

_Haruka opens the door to leave. The light blinds him._

_They are at the pool. He knows without looking that it is Iwatobi SC. Haru is before him, already on the starting block, always ahead of him, always one step in front and Rin feels like he is forever chasing that form as it cuts the water before him._

_But Rin has worked hard. Has suffered. Has grown. He'll show him._

_But the form in front of him isn't Haru anymore...it's his father, but not the way he remembers from...before...a handsome young man with an easy laugh and bright eyes. Gou's eyes. Instead a child, the way he is in the photo of the relay winners. He looks at Rin with a child's wide-eyed innocence, his smile a child's open delight. And runs away, leaving a tinkling trail of a child's laughter._

_Rin follows, his feet tracing the familiar path to the pier that he had raced to meet his father at when he was younger. His legs are longer, he's a fast runner, he should be catching up, but the child's form of his father stays out of reach, leaving Rin to chase his shadow. The tunnel before the pier is dark, and his father is a pale form disappearing into it. He knows how long the tunnel is, can see the light at the end of it, but once he enters its gloom, the light seems further and further and further away, becoming a pinprick that blinks out, leaving him in darkness. And no matter how much he runs, the darkness would not dissipate. Instead it becomes an all consuming void, where even the sound of his footsteps die without echoing._

_He stops, knowing instinctually that running is useless. He cannot see, but he knows there is nothing here, for this is not a place, this is nothingness. A vast nothingness, spreading out all around him, above him and below him. And he is trapped, feeling claustrophobic, because despite its vastness, he cannot leave it, does not know how, because no matter how much he runs he will always remain. Right. Here._

_He does not know how much time has passed - time means nothing in nothingness, after all. He is only dimly aware of it because the feeling of frustration within him is mounting. But, out of the inky darkness, he hears it, faintly, softly._

_A voice. Calling. It is calling his name. He turns, but he doesn't know where it is coming from, doesn't know which way to turn. But it's coming closer. And the voice - it sounds familiar. Like someone he knows, but it takes a while for him to place it, because it isn't a voice he's heard in a long while._

_It sounds like his father._

_It is when the voice sounds close enough to touch that everything changes. The nothingness is gone, vanished, and he is submerged. The darkness is water and it is raging, heavy, powerful and he is but a tiny, inconsequential speck caught in its wrath._

_The shock makes him gasp - he has to swim to the surface! But which way is up? He looks and sees a speckling of light above and kicks his feet, his arms reaching out in powerful strokes. He has never been helpless in water, his second home._

_He breaks the surface._

_He has a second to glimpse a storm wrought ocean, a sky crackling with lightning illuminating tiny fishing boats being thrown high by jostling waves, but even as his head breaks the water, he can feel himself being dragged down, back into the darkness._

_He kicks again, but to no avail. The surface is more than an arm's reach away and getting rapidly further. It feels like there is something containing the strength of his legs and drawing him down into the murky gloom of the deeps - a feeling that there is something for him to find there, something for him to see, that he needs to know. The surface is so far away, but the beam of storm-light remains, not a ray of hope but as if to illuminate the extent of the distance between him and it._

_He looks down. He can see the seabed, he is floating above it, still being pulled down, but the descent is slower now. There, sitting in the sand, slowly being overtaken by marine life, is a fishing boat. A sunken, sorry little shipwreck, lonely and forgotten in the midst of the coral, aged and ageless at the same time. Time has no meaning here._

_Faintly, he can hear the sounds of someone crying, a distressed, scared, childlike sound that echoes eerily around him. He turns to face it._

"Makoto!"

_It is Makoto. But younger. The way he looked the day Haru drowned. Lost. Terrified. He looks small and vulnerable, hugging himself the way he had on that day, when they'd got to the hospital and Haru had been swept away by medics and he and Rin had been left in the waiting room. In those moments - before the nurse had come and started asking him questions and he'd pulled himself together too quickly, even if his eyes had been too wide and his knuckles had been pale from how hard he'd been clenching his fists. It is the Makoto of that between moment that he sees..._

_Blink._

_And it is the Makoto of now, grown, seventeen, not twelve, but still scared, who turns. He isn't crying, but the terror on his face is the same. There is something about him that makes him look trapped, but Rin cannot tell because his form is shadowed. He finds the shadows that cloak his friend menacing, for some reason - as if there is something lurking inside that darkness. A monster that has a hold on him. When Makoto reaches out to him, it looks like that action alone is a struggle and the darkness around him shifts, an embrace that grows tighter. Rin reaches back, there must be a way to get him out of there. Makoto's eyes are pleading and filled with fear. When he speaks, his voice is muffled, a whispered breath underwater._

"Help me."

He woke up. There was sweat on his face and his breath was short. That dream again.

He sat forward, drawing his knees up to hang his head between them and used his sheets to wipe the sweat off his face. Resting his elbows on his legs, he ran his hands through his sweat matted hair, feeling kind of gross. Holding his breath slightly to check that Nitori hadn't woken at any point because of him, he listened and sighed when his roommate's light snoring continued uninterrupted. Not for the first time, he was glad the kid was a heavy sleeper. Slowly, he got out of bed, grabbing his phone to use as a light, just in case, and padded as lightly as he could out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.

The hallways were deserted and silent as he made his way towards the bathrooms to wash his face. The splash of the cool water on his skin was already making him feel better, but he scooped some of it from the tap to drink and hung over the sink for a while before raising his face to look at himself in the mirror, watching the way the rivulets trailed down his face over the contours of his cheeks to drip off his chin.

The Dream. Or perhaps nightmare, given the state he woke up in. Rin had never been one to dream the same thing more than once, but this one had been visiting him a few times since that night at the training camp. And each time he dreamed It, he saw a little more - like a movie that he had to watch from the beginning every time, but each time he got a little bit further in the story. It didn't always necessarily start off the same way - sometimes it was just That dream and others, whatever dream he might be having would somehow turn into It, which was the way tonight's had gone. Though, this had been the first time he had seen Makoto. He didn't particularly understand why.

He knew the voice that had been calling him in the void and seeing that fishing boat...Rin hadn't dreamt of his father this much since his death, even if he thought about him a lot and hadn't really ever stopped missing him. But That Dream...there was something strange about it. Something that made everything feel...not completely dreamlike. Something disturbing. Something that made him wake in a cold sweat, made the hairs on the back of his arms and neck rise up and sent cold shivers down his spine even on humid summer nights. It made his head feel foggy, was affecting his concentration and his training and Rin could feel himself losing ground in nearly every area. His times were lagging, and he was beginning to find himself fighting for seconds and milliseconds that he had easily before. His grades were slowly slipping and what had previously been high As were slipping into boundary marks and Bs. And that made him feel even more frustrated and angry at everything. At himself most of all.

A thought occurred to him. At the summer training camp, when Gou had come to him to say goodbye and that the Iwatobi group would be heading back to train at their own pool. The fact that she'd come to say it pretty much two days after they'd arrived had confirmed his suspicions that Makoto couldn't hack being near the ocean after all, but she hadn't said anything about that to him. Whether through tact or the fact that she didn't know, he wasn't sure, but he knew. It had made him feel worried enough to want to go and check up on him, but in the end he hadn't been able to bring himself to do it, even under the pretence of walking her back to their group and it had made him feel like the biggest coward on the planet.

But they'd talked for a little before she'd left and she'd said something - he hadn't taken specific note of it then and hadn't thought of it since.

_"You know, onii-chan...I don't know if it's being near the ocean or what, but I dreamt about Dad last night. It was such a strange dream too...I didn't see him, but it was like...he was calling me. Like he had something to tell me...and somehow, it felt like I knew about the storm before I woke up in the middle of the night because of it. Well, that and Sensei turned over and accidentally slapped me in the face." She laughed a little awkwardly then, as if to diffuse the moment from being too serious and intense, or perhaps because she'd seen the way his face had shadowed at her words. "That's weird isn't it? Maybe I'm gaining psychic powers! Well, anyway, I have to go - I think Coach Sasabe's boat is going to be here any minute and I said I'd only be five minutes with you. Bye, onii-chan!"_

Recalling her words - they'd sounded an awful lot like his dream. Was it possible...? And what did any of it have to do with Makoto?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that was killer - this one is so much longer than my other chapters, it just refused to end. As always, constructive criticism and any feedback is always welcome - this is unbetaed, so if you see anything, please let me know so I can change it.
> 
> Next Chapter - everyone is an awkward turtle and shit goes down at regionals!

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is always appreciated! :)


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